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Still need more information? That’s cool. Here’s 5 things you can do right now to meet n fuck tonight.
5 Crazy Tricks to Meet and Fuck Tonight
Tired of having to do everything yourself, including yourself? Do you need to fuck something a little different than your hand tonight? Not into getting down and dirty on your own self? You need to fuck tonight, my friend.
But what do you do when all your usual booty-calls aren't answering the phone? What happens if your friends with benefits are out of town? What happens when skype sex just isn't enough, and you need a warm body? Well, sometimes the usual avenues of finding a fuck buddy are all blocked. Sometimes you need to try some unorthodox methods to get laid. Here are some wild tips and tricks to help you get fucked tonight:
1. Text girls you (barely) know
I know you have girls' numbers in your phone that you barely know. Maybe you have a girl's digits from an old class or an old job. Maybe you're friends with some girls on social media who you'd definitely be down to fuck.
Shoot these girls a text. Slide into the DM's. See what they're doing tonight. If they're going out, there's a good chance that their girlfriends will be going with them which can increase your chances of getting laid!
The worst thing that can happen is that they say no or don't respond. Try to brush off the paranoid feeling you might be getting roasted in a group chat for daring to DM and text another few girls or try one of these other tips!
2. Go wild on Tinder
Let's be real: Tinder is mostly a game now. No one actually uses it as a means of dating or talking anymore. The only time you'd ever message someone on Tinder is if you're trolling around like you used to do on Omegle in middle school, or if you're trying to fuck as soon as physically possible.
So get swiping right, boy. Shoot your shot and shoot it like buckshot: wide. Message everyone and try to get a conversation going! Hopefully, that conversation will lead to a "what are you doin' tonight?". Even if they don't message back tonight, keep those girls in mind for the next night your feigning for a fuck.
3. Text friends of your exes'
This might be a risky move, but you can always hit up your ex's friends. Because, why not? You might get some revenge out of it! Hit up your ex's enemies, that's even better! More rewarding!
4. ...or text your friend's exes
This is an even more risky move than the one before. However, you best believe that your friend's exes notice their other friends. Everyone takes notice of their friend's hot friends and thinks about what it might be like to fuck them.
Capitalize on this fantasy and hit up your friend's ex-girls. You might want to make sure your friends are over that particular girl though (or just never find out).
5. Ask out the bartender or barista at your second fave spot
I say second favorite spot because regardless of how hot the bartender or barista is at your first favorite spot is, that's your favorite spot. It would be a shame to get rejected and never be able to go there again...
So shoot your spot at the Starbucks (not the craft coffee shop) or at that one swanky cocktail bar (not the sports bar where they know your regular order) and see what happens!