Here are The Top 5 Best Hookup Apps for Banging Your College Classmates (and Maybe Even Your Professor)

Getting your classmates to fuck you the old fashion way is, let's face it, terrifying. Talking to real life college girls means that you might find yoruself getting rejected left and right; these are things that can be the most intimidating factors in intimacy.

Luckily, there are tons of apps that can help you find a fuckbuddy in your vicinity! Oh yes, that's right. I'm talking about apps like Tinder. Apps that have completely changed the way humans interact sexually.

I narrowed it down to my top three, but I decided that the top two were essentially too good not to rank first… so here are the two apps that are tied for my top app for hooking up with your classmates:

  • Bumble

    This one is called Bumble and it's a hookup/dating app that I have fallen head-over-heels in love with. Usually, dating apps are just 'swipe left, swipe right, match, chat, blah,' but this one includes a nice little twist that takes a lot of pressure off of the man. And I think we can all agree that most dating apps can put a lot of pressure on the man to perform for the woman, but with Bumble, there's nothing to worry about.

    After you match with a girl, she has 24 hours to send you a message before your match disappears and the chance is lost. I can't believe nobody thought of this before. It almost makes Tinder seem like a waste of time. Almost.

    It's this revolutionary feature that makes Bumble so appealing to men and women alike. It helps out shy dudes who never know what to say first, as well as women who are tired of the status quo and are ready to take charge in the conversation. Plus it makes it obvious that the woman is interested in you - so you don't have to sit around and wonder all day if you should send that risky text or not.

    Whatever college you go to, it's obvious that you've spent at least a few minutes a day staring at some hot piece of ass that's wearing some yoga pants that look painted on. Well, I know I have. Maybe even entire lectures. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Learn about how the cerebellum works? Because I'd rather learn how her booty works.

    Anyway... downloading the Bumble app give you access to virtually all those classmates and many other women in your vicinity. It uses the same tracking radius system that Tinder uses without all those snobby girls. You can set your age range to whatever you'd like (complying with the age of consent of course), and you can alter your distance to almost any range.

    When I downloaded Bumble, I was in disbelief at how many girls I knew were using the app. No shit; it was about half my biology class. Usually, on Tinder, you'll match with a girl you know and get a little big-headed. Maybe you even try to send an original message her way and the next thing you know, she doesn't reply, and you feel like an idiot chasing a carrot.

    Well with Bumble, you get that chance to receive the first message. This means she, herself, has to let you know that she's interested in having a conversation with you. It also means she might be down to spend some time in the bedroom.

    Overall, I feel like Bumble hit a home run with this app. It's turned into an app that all men and women have dreamed about for years, and it's grown so much. It didn't use to be very popular a few years ago, but now it seems to have gone off like a firework in the dating app community - and for a good reason too.

  • Skout

    Skout is an app that lets you connect with random people in your area (or at your school) with ease. You might even be able to find a hookup close to you too. There is a huge list of features you can use with the VIP membership. One of the best features I found was the ability to shake your phone and instantly connect with someone in your area who is also interested in chatting.

    Its design reminds me a lot of Facebook's, which is probably why it's so easy to use. Even if you're using it for the first time, it feels like you've been using it for years.

    The menu bar on the bottom makes it easy to select the web chatting feature that lets you chat with anyone in your area who's online. Hopefully, there are some cute classmates nearby when you download it. There was plenty for me.

    One of the coolest features that come with a membership to Skout is something called 'Buzz.' Buzz lets users who are interested in meeting up in person - do exactly that. Be careful though because people who are interested in meeting up in real life can sometimes not be what they seem. Watch out for kidnappers when using this feature, and if you're a kidnapper... don't get any fuckin' ideas pal.

    Anyway, this Buzz feature is perfect for anyone on campus who's looking for a quick fuck and doesn't want to seem like a sick fuck. The one time I used it on campus, I didn't get anyone to buzz me back, but I go to a small college, so there might have been something else going on here. Sending messages that start fun and flirty games like Truth or Dare or Fuck, Marry, Kill definitely got me places with girls.

    It kind of sucks that you need a full-blown membership to access all the game-changing features available in this app, but I think it's a godsend that they're there in the first place.

    You can buy the one-month subscription for $9.99. There are also options for getting a three-month membership for $24.99 or a twelve-month subscription for $69.99. The twelve month seems a little drastic, but if you want that kind of commitment then, do your thing. I can safely say that Skout is the real thing and it's definitely worth your time.

    It helped me hook up with at least four people who go to my school and even two that I used to go to high school with. If you're sick of Bumble and want to try something fresh, that'll make meeting and fucking your classmates easy and exciting again, then downloading Skout might be a pretty good idea.

Sarah is online and wants to fuck.