Latinas stay winning: here's how to get a latina fuck tonight

If you've been on Twitter at all lately, you may have noticed the Latinas stay winning trend. You might have especially noticed it if you'd been following the original account that started this shit posting storm. But if you were following any of those accounts (or any of the women featured), it's probably because you love yourself a Latina lady.

I mean, you're not alone in your love for the Latin female form. But sometimes it's difficult to woo a woman who is nothing like the women you've dated in the past. So, let's say you're a white guy from deep in the suburbs. The odds are that you've dated a lot of boring yet good ol' white girls who are the kind you'd take home to mom. It's probably unlikely that you've ever had experience wooing a woman of a drastically different culture.

Why does this matter? Well, you probably have few things in common, you have different life experiences based on the culture in which you were raised, and you may not know how even to carry on an interesting conversation with a Latina.

Fear, not my inexperienced (probably suburban white guy) friend. I have a few tips that might help you when it comes to trying to meet and fuck sexy latina women. Because let's be honest, the goal is to have someone hot enough in your bed, where she might as well have jumped straight into your sheets from your fantasies (or your Twitter timeline).

  1. Don't be a bad hombre

    I mean this in both a literal and metaphorical way.

    Latinas are notorious for not taking shit. So it's in your best interest not to be a total dick if you want her in your bed. That being said, you can't be boring. So I suggest you sprinkle in some sarcasm when you're flirting with her. You need to be interesting enough to a Latina for her to get with you. And plain ol' white boy isn't going to cut it, but neither is plain ol' douchey white guy. Strike a balance.

    While I maintain that girls liking assholes is a myth, girls do like someone who has some serious banter. You want to keep her on her toes when you're talking with her. It makes you exciting. It makes talking to you exciting. And it will make the prospect of sleeping with you even more exciting.

    Now for the metaphorical sense in which I mean this phrase. When you're talking with a Latina, it might be best to keep the political conversation off the table. Why? Well, odds are she's probably nowhere near conservative. If you are conservative, you might want to avoid the topic altogether or just lie. Becuase even if you're committed to making America great again, that's not going to get your dick sucked again (or sucked in the first place).

    Just be nice and don't talk about politics (or religion, or exes). Keep things light and fun, and she'll be more inclined to have fun with you later.

  2. Ask your Latina lover out on a real date

    There's one thing that Latina's hate and that's informality. Sure, she might seem like a pretty chill friend, but when it comes to wanting to get laid, she's probably not going to be down for Netflix and Chill (unless she knows you really well or has already expressed that she's down to fuck). Either way, make sure that whatever you're inviting her out to do is clearly a date. Even if you resort to Netflix and Chill put in some effort by lighting a candle or something cute like that! You're going to have to try harder to get her to fuck you than getting some slut to fuck you

    But you can never go wrong with dinner (even if that means cooking yourself). There is something inherently sexy about getting dressed up and going out for dinner or drinks. It shows that you are putting in an effort and that you enjoy her company. Real dates are few and far between in the digital age, so a date could really work to your advantage.

  3. Use Spanish to your advantage

    If there was a time to use everything you've learned from two years of mandated Spanish it's now. When things are getting hot and heavy, it might be worth it to throw in a few words en Espanol. This makes you seem somewhat worldly and really sexy. Because even if it's her first language, Spanish is still going to sound sexy. Just make sure that if you do decide to whisper sweet Spanish nothings into her ear, that you sound confident and have the pronunciation right.

    So maybe you took French? Then use what you've learned to either whisper something en Frances into her ear or to better learn and understand Spanish (they're both romance languages after all!).

    Or ask her to teach Spanish to you - or at least just a little. Start out with tame things, the kind of things that a high school teacher would put in their lesson plan. Then ask her to teach you something dirty. Keep getting dirtier until the only things you're saying are breathy expletives.

    Well, if foriegn languages aren't your thing there is one thing that you can say that will definitely give you a point in any latina's eyes: "Fuck Trump!"

Sarah is online and wants to fuck.